I’ve never heard the voice of God. 

Whenever people have shared stories about this, either from the pulpit or in conversation, my first two reactions have always been jealousy and skepticism. 

Let’s dive into that for a moment. 

Jealousy. Whenever I hear someone say they’ve personally heard from God, my first thought is, “I wish that was me.” Wouldn’t it be nice? 

Skepticism. Simultaneously, my reaction is, “but did you really?” I chuckle to myself as I write that, knowing how true it is for myself and how human of a reaction it is to constantly try to put God inside a box. That box is made of walls that define what we think is possible or likely. It is not how God operates, that’s for sure. I am a doubter by default. 

So, how do I know what I’m supposed to do with my life? It’s an odd question at 35 years old, but I know it is a question we all wrestle with.

I once had “Calling” described to me as the intersection of Passion, Talent, and Opportunity. 

Passion: What drives you? What motivates and excites you and keeps you moving forward? 

Talent: What are you good at? What skills, abilities and experiences do you possess? 

Opportunity: What are you being asked to do? What roads lie ahead of you? 

I have found this description so comforting over the years since we decided to move to Burundi almost 12 years ago now. Nadine and I have used these questions time and time again to help us navigate living abroad, moving to different countries, and finding the next thing that God wanted us to do. 

It was a heartbreaking experience to have my calling stripped away in such a brutal way in 2021 after I got sick. My mission was stripped down to its barest roots; survive. Try not to get worse. Hang on. It felt like I was working so unbelievably hard to keep my head above water. Not swimming or going anywhere, just desperately trying not to drown. 

Where does calling fit into any of that? 

I don’t have an answer for you. I went through it, and I can’t tell you. I have yet to reconcile that something so awful could have ever been God’s “plan” for my life. 

But I do know in my heart that He plans to redeem this. 

I will be boarding a plane bound for the African continent in April. It will be a short trip, and I won’t have Nadine and the boys with me, but I’m going back. It will have been 22 months since my family and I left Uganda.

This time last year I had to summon all the strength I had just to leave my house. Now, I’m going a bit further than that!

I know that my passion still burns bright. Over the years, our family has developed a deeply personal mission to safeguard and care for orphaned and vulnerable children. My experiences and the lessons I learned working in East Africa have given me the abilities and talent I need to make a difference. And finally, I was given the opportunity to join a ministry caring for children and communities in the small country of Eswatini, in Southern Africa.

After everything that has happened, God showed me a path and gave me the passion and the skills to navigate it, so that’s what I will do. 

So have I ever heard the voice of God? No. 

Do I know what He wants me to do? Yes. 

I am so thankful to have clarity and direction for my family. I pray for peace and contentment for each of you in God’s calling for your life.

I’ve already started the work, and I’m excited to tell you more about what God has in store for our family and the calling that he’s given us in Eswatini. 

Talk soon, 

Josh. 

FYI — Edmonton is our home for the foreseeable future – I’ve renovated an office room in our house and will occasionally be travelling throughout the year. So we’re not going anywhere at the moment!