Waiting is hard. Especially when you’ve been waiting for years, with no end in sight. Especially when what you’re waiting for is the most anticipated gift of your life.
We really started our adoption process last year, but for us, the journey of trying to build our family has been going on for so much longer.
So. Much. Waiting.
Paperwork, procedures, meetings, interviews, assessments, we have waited for it all. While it has been hard, it has also been an eye-opening learning process for both Josh and I. We’ve learned so much, and it’s made us encounter and think about things that we never could have imagined. It’s truly been an incredible journey.
A few months ago we completed all of our paperwork, and our assessment was finished, ready to be approved by Ugandan authorities, referred to here as “the panel.” Waiting for our panel meeting had us hitting delay after delay, but we were finally able to sit before them on April 27th.
Cue one of the most intense days of our lives! One that included, you guessed it, a lot of waiting! Without an agenda, or list of the order families would be seen in, we all just had to wait at the door, in case we were called in next. We waited the entire day, literally the entire day as we chatted with other families, stared at each other in silence, paced… a lot… and slowly had our stomachs inverted as the nerves continued to intensify. As family after family came out of their reviews with nervous looks on their faces, our anxiety only grew.
Right at the end of the day, we were finally called in! Josh couldn’t believe it, and even asked if they were sure! We ended up sitting in front of a table that had 10 people sitting on the other side… government officials, childcare officers, social workers, it was intimidating! Against our expectations (and anxieties) we quickly found the members of the panel to be very kind to us. In advance of our meeting, they had reviewed our file and all the documents and information we had spent these past months putting together with our social worker. They asked us to share about our circumstances, asked us some questions about our paper work, and then finally explained to us that we had fulfilled all of their requirements. Their chairman ended the meeting by saying “your prayers have been answered” as they approved us as adoptive parents in Uganda! That sentence was one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard.
We shook all of their hands, even gave high-fives to a few local families that were waiting outside with us, and as we walked around the corner to where we had parked, Josh and I embraced, and burst into tears.
In that moment, Josh and I both were transported back to the last time we had a moment like this together, in each other’s arms as tears streamed down our faces. It was more than 16 months ago, on the day that we found out we were infertile. On that day, and many that followed it, they were tears of intense pain and grief. The devastating loss of our dream of having children.
As we embraced in this moment, we were sharing a deep and intense joy, of having that dream once again become a reality. It was the most powerful moment of our lives.
God is good. So good. Experiencing healing and renewal in this has been a part of our journey. He asked us to have hope and trust Him through the plans he has for us, even when we couldn’t see what they were. He asked us to have faith that His plans are better than those we had for ourselves. He asked us to be at peace in Him and through Him. He asked us to be patient in the waiting, because the gift that He has for us is so, so good.
Now, we have more waiting! We are waiting for the phone call to hear that a child has been matched to us. It’s not easy! We are working so hard to exercise and grow our patience and faith in God’s promises. We know that He is with us in the waiting, and we trust His timing in all of it.
My dear friend sent me this bible verse: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” – Proverbs 13:12
It is so hard to wait, especially knowing that our child, the one God has in store for us, is out there right now, in urgent and desperate need for a family and a home. Please pray for them, and pray for all those who are waiting for homes and the love that comes with that. Please pray for our social worker, and our childcare officer, who are working hard to match us with a child in need. Please pray that we are able to continue waiting (did I mention that sometimes, it’s really hard???), and that our family can be brought together soon.
We know many are praying, and have been faithfully praying for us for so long. We love you all and are full of gratitude and thankfulness. We know it matters!
Pictures from our spontaneous Easter long-weekend trip to Egypt: